10 notes (via illperipheral)
17 notes (via casey-x-meow)
“I can tell you for sure that God does not love you unconditionally. ’ I have already given you a condition; if you don’t put a small amount of water on a baby’s forehead, it burns for eternity.’ That’s the condition of a fucking psychopath!” - Jim Jeffries (Fully Functional 2012)
27 notes (via deerinthewolfden)
“Ever asked a non-drinker why they don’t drink? Same fucking answer every time. You go, why don’t you drink? And they go, I don’t like the taste of it.
Nobody does. No one likes the taste of it, but we drink because we fucking have to. No one has ever had a shot of tequila and gone, oh, that’s lovely. Next time, I’ll have that instead of pudding, it’s so moreish. We drink because life’s shit and you gotta do whatever you can to get through the fucking day.”
— Jim Jeffries
15 notes (via shamrockkid)
“Ever asked a non-drinker why they don’t drink? Same fucking answer every time. You go, why don’t you drink? And they go, I don’t like the taste of it.
Nobody does. No one likes the taste of it, but we drink because we fucking have to. No one has ever had a shot of tequila and gone, oh, that’s lovely. Next time, I’ll have that instead of pudding, it’s so moreish. We drink because life’s shit and you gotta do whatever you can to get through the fucking day.”
— Jim Jeffries
15 notes (via shamrockkid)
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